The Time Before Christmas

Brushing Your Teeth

 

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I’m still alive, just buried under school work, but I’ll try to dig myself out as often as I can! Thanks for sticking with me!

Unnecessary Memes

There are a lot of things that annoy me. It just so happens, a lot of those things are on Facebook. Among those things, are uplifting memes (because I’m a terrible person), but what I hate even more are memes that are uplifting that you must share if you do that thing. Like, “Today is son day! Share this if you love your son!” And then everyone feels obligated to share because God forbid someone think that you don’t love your son because you didn’t share a meme on Facebook. Or “Cancer is bad, share this if you hate cancer!” And no one wants to be the person who doesn’t hate cancer. They’re basically like those horrible chainmails that you had to send to 10 people or your crush would never like you. Obligatory sharing annoys me the most, so I thought it would be fun to make some really ridiculous obligatory sharing memes.

Like for instance, tomorrow, September 17th, is national Eat an Apple Day (because that’s a thing that needs to exist), so of course it needs a meme.

Technically, this should have at least one misspelling and some unnecessary ellipses, but my OCD prevented it. (When in doubt, always blame your OCD.)

I also thought it would be fun to make one that people feel really obligated to share. You can post this and then question all your friends who don’t share it. Hey, maybe there’s even bounty on them you can collect!

If you want something a little more heartwarming though, there’s nothing like a friend in bad weather meme.

And of course, no meme catalog is complete without the one that gently tries to tell your friends how they’re doing the parenting thing all wrong.

If you want to share these easily, I’m going to put them on my Facebook page and then see how many likes my page loses! If you do share them, let me know how many friends you lose or if it gets shared again by some gullible poor soul. If one of these goes viral, I’ll even throw a pizza party!

Also, I’m sorry for neglecting my blog lately. I just started grad school, which is exciting, but my schedule has basically been, go to work, work, go back home, do two hours of school work, eat dinner, watch an episode of Rick and Morty, pass out. I’m going to find some time soon though to put together some comic ideas I have. Probably.

Texts with My Husband

Welcome to another edition of “Texts with My Husband,” where I pass off texts message conversations as blog material because I was too lazy busy to do a real post!

In case you’re new to this game, I’m over on the right in the blue, and my poor husband is over there in the grays. Don’t worry though, he’s an approved commenter! (That was a Kinja joke.) (Nevermind.)

He doesn’t think so, but the Midge is a good name for this car. Midges are small flies. Flies are annoying and mostly useless. This car is annoying and mostly useless. #restscase

Posting this will one will probably get me in trouble with the law one day, but at least I have proof that he was complicit.

This is when he didn’t tell me I had a package, and everyone knows that receiving a package is the greatest thing that can possibly happen to you in a day, and I’m still kind of mad at him about it.

Alfie is a male dog friend that our dog hangs out with on occasion. Apparently he thinks she’s old enough to date. SHE’S NOT!

This was after we got back from Ireland. I’m still looking for investors, btw. I don’t care what anyone says, their ham bacon is NOT real bacon. (I mean, it’s good in its own way, but NOT bacon.)

Being Reincarnated as a Cat

 

It’s late and I feel like this post got a little rambling, but the end story is I could never be a cat because I like to sleep too much, which is a real dilemma because that’s the whole point of being cat. Well, that and knocking things off tables.

Castle Ghost

There really should be an Olympic sport for freaking yourself out when you really mean to freak someone else out. I really would win the gold.

P.S. I really did get to stay in a castle though – we just got back from a vacation to Ireland, which has more castles per square mile than anywhere else in the world (note: I made that up, but they really do have a lot). It was my first trip to Europe and I already want to plan my next (after I get out of debt from this one). I will probably have some more posts inspired from our trip. And at some point we need to discuss the fact that the only American beer any pub had was Coors Light (sorry, husband wants me to correct that there was also Budweiser, but I decline to see the difference). Not only is that just pure sadness, but it’s also just really bad foreign policy. Guys, we really do have good beer. I promise.

Repost: I’m Not an Alcoholic

The post below is from July 2011. I swear, I’m still not an alcoholic.

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The husband was reading the last two weeks of my blog and when he was done he looked up at me and said, “Wow, you sound like an alcoholic.” Apparently, I talk about drinking too much. I promise though, I’m not. I’m afraid you don’t trust me now though, so I’ve contacted people I’ve known throughout my life to give a character reference for me.

Here’s Mr. Reynold, my 12th grade calculus teacher.

Ok, that was probably a bad place to start, math was never my strong suit. Here, talk to one of my coworkers, she loves me.

Sigh, I just like coffee.

Oh look, here’s my granny. She’s known me my whole life, so she can tell you what I’m like.

Well, this isn’t going the way I planned. Here’s my primary care physician, maybe she can convince you.

I swear, I’m very honest on all my medical forms. Seriously, I am.

Repost: Migraine or Tumor

Hey, guys! I’m not going to be able to post for the next few weeks, but I didn’t want to totally leave you hanging, so I scheduled a couple of old favorites. Now is also a good time to appreciate that I’ve gotten a lot recognizably better with my drawing pad! The post below is from October 2011.

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For a long time I’ve suffered from chronic migraines. Migraines are like headaches, except they make you want to die.

It’s a running joke between me and the Husband that my body just doesn’t want me to ever have a good time.

My longest migraine lasted just over three weeks. Since normal people can’t take three weeks off of work and head to the spa for a diamond peel microdermabrasion to feel better (I AM THE 99%!), I existed as a hazy shell of myself.

Having a migraine is like having the worst superpower ever. All your senses are heightened, but your brain gets confused with all the messages so it just turns everything into pain.

Chronic migraines also have the added effect of making me paranoid.

I still have a hard time believing though that my body would just randomly cause me horrible pain for no real reason, but maybe my body is just a dick like that.